Who are you when all the make-up and fancy clothes are stripped away? Are you a shadow of your made-up self, or a woman who embraces her own reflection?
We are saturated with blogs, showcasing the latest beauty and fashion trends, don’t get me wrong this is not a bad thing, I love all things beauty and fashion however it’s a fine line for some, as this becomes their definition of beauty. Most of us don’t look like we stepped out a fashion show every day, and our face does need a fair amount of make-up panel-beating (my version of face-beat) to reach Instagram standards. So in finding this gap in the blogosphere, I decided my first blog post will be my self-image journey in retrospect. Who I am, when I bear my soul! My hope is my blog will inspire and motivate my readers to dig deeper and look beyond the surface of beauty.
My Scars, My Story
The song embedded by Alessia Cara, an artist I really love, is lyrical truth. She captures what many women, young and old go through at some stage in their life. This song took me back to a time in my life when I did not like my reflection in the mirror. Rewinding to my fifteen-year-old self, I was insecure about every part of my appearance, I suffered from acne from a young age, and puberty only exacerbated it. I did not connect with my body, and covered it up with baggy boyish clothing. The ironic thing is I was popular in school, had good grades and did not seem socially inadequate. However, I would go home, and sit in front of the mirror picking on every negative thing on my body. The ideals that society placed on me were too much pressure, and I went into a recluse. I stayed in my room, locked the door and cried all the time.
Not many people knew that about me, except my family who saw my self-esteem spiral first hand. I eventually entered beauty pageants, and tried modelling as a way to gain my confidence, and that never really did happen. It just made me dislike my appearance so much more. I found myself trying to be like other girls and I eventually abandoned that and sunk into my studies. Years later at university, I felt even more lost, and throughout my three years, I did not have an identity. I loved the academic part, but hated everything else about it. My self-esteem grew weakened, as I was confronted with prettier, charismatic, and socially adept girls. Fast forward to my early twenties and I was still dealing with the feeling of rejection, insecurities and overall sadness.
Creating the right mind-set
But it’s not all doom and gloom, and I did eventually scratch beyond the surface of my beautiful hidden canvas. Now in my mid-twenties, I can truly say I created my identity. I say created because I had to develop the mind-set towards self-affirmation. I had the freedom to become who I wanted to be. Creating me was like a mental and spiritual re-birth, as I learn to accept myself, flaws and all. I’m not prissy perfect all the time, I still have problem skin, I would like a straighter nose, I don’t have thick voluminous hair, and cellulite and stretch marks map my skin, but my absolute truth is I have never been happier in my life.
You see, I learned to accept who “Trish” is! I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and there is only one ME. My uniqueness gives me a place in this world, and it’s rightfully mine to claim. I love my quirks and my imperfections, it has shaped the woman I am becoming. I say becoming because I’m still learning about myself on this journey called life. Be proud of all the great things about you, and don’t nit-pick the negatives, Yes there will be negative’s, but how you respond to it is key. So I hope my blog, and social media presence will inspire and influence women of all ages to engage in self-love. Loving yourself is a beautiful thing, and that love will shine through and empower others.
Be your own beautiful!